A view on feminism

As always I have to make the point that these opinions are my own and if you've been reading my blog for a while you should know that my views are not here to contradict anyone else's but merely to give an alternative perception.

Now on to the juicy stuff: Feminism

Of course there will be many more reasons why Feminism is needed but to spare you all from a post which would go on for days, I've cut it down a little bit:

1. Equality

Feminism is not trying to make women seem better than men nor is it the practice of hating men. Feminism is the belief that both women and men are human beings and should be treated equally so, just as we want equality amongst races or equality for people who are gay, equality amongst genders is essential because both gender parties are necessary to each other.

2. Banning Gender stereotypes

I have a theory that we have certain gender stereotypes because by putting people into categories we are mislead into believing that we understand them more and humans typically don't like what they don't understand. Seeing a female who is interested in both mechanics and knitting can be seen as intimidating but this is only because it doesn't stick to the typical conventional gender stereotypes.

It is ridiculous to think that just because I have a vagina that I am immediately going to like the colour pink, because frankly I do not. Would you tell someone that they have to eat pasta if they are a girl, even if they don't actually like pasta? No, of course not because we can appreciate that everyone has individual tastes and preferences and the same goes for an individuals interest. A man can like the colour pink just as easily as a woman can like playing video games and restricting what people are able to like is therefore restricting peoples happiness.

3. Because men like to be well groomed too

There has been some controversy around a Veet advert which didn't allow a woman to get into a taxi because her legs weren't shaved. We seem to forget that we are living in a society where it is normal for both men and woman to shave and maintain a well-groomed appearance. Likewise if a woman doesn't want to shave her legs does that make her any less of a woman? No of course not. The ONLY thing that makes a woman a woman is her genetic makeup, not how much makeup she wears, not how she styles her hair, not how she dresses. If you have a vagina, congratulations you are about as female as you are going to be and telling someone that they are not a female if they don't shave, or likewise telling a man that he is acting like a girl because he wants to be well-groomed is sheer madness.

4. Because my body shouldn't be an object.

I have a body, congratulations, so do you. In fact here is a crazy fact, every single human being has a body! Which makes me question why showing some of my legs, despite the fact that I would say almost all of the human population has legs, somehow makes me a slut?

If one day I decide to wear a dress which shows a bit of skin that is not a justification into being able to cat call me, that is not a justification for you to come up to me and make a sexual advance at me and that is most certainly not a justification for you to call me a slut. I do not dress to impress males, I dress to impress myself and you know what, I am impressed.

5. Because excusing your sexually inappropriate behaviour because you are a 'man' is sick.

I recently had an interesting conversation about girls uploading pictures of themselves naked on to the internet and how by doing so a woman is degrading herself. To this I just laughed. A persons body is the only thing that they can rightfully call their own and if ANYONE wants to upload a picture of them self then they can. I believe it is not the act of uploading a naked picture which makes it degrading but the fact that we know that if a girl uploads a picture of her tits, there will be a male out there who will masturbate over it. It isn't the act of uploading a picture which is gross, it is the fact that we all are aware that it will now be turned into some sexual content for men to leer at.  In this argument, my peer argued that 'of course men will masturbate over it, they are a man' again I just laughed. If a man honestly can't control himself from wanking over a picture we have a bigger problem. Now I am not saying that a man, or woman are not allowed to be sexually aroused by someone else's naked body because it is in our genetics to be sexually aroused,  I am just saying that when I see an attractive male I don't start touching myself and then think "Sheesh this guy just made me touch myself because I am aroused, how degrading is he?"  I simply think, wow he is good looking and then go about my day hands free my down under regions.

6. Because rape culture is scary and increasing.

I saw this image last night and I find it very true and interesting. I have seen many peoples perception on what a sexual relationship is  be influenced by the porn industry or even just the media industry. We are teaching our kids that it is perfectly acceptable to tie up someone and dominate them however we are not teaching our kids that although everyone can do what they want in the bedroom, you have to make sure that your partner gives consent to it as well. I have friends who have more kinkier relationships but that is because they are both mutually comfortable with it and have created boundaries for themselves to allow this comfort. What porn on the internet, which is very accessible teaches, is that woman are always up for it, all men have giant willies and that a little bit of spanking is great. 1 out of those 3 points are true and I can assure you it isn't the giant willies one. 

I have also seen how the influence of larger male groups can adapt a males behaviour.  Not once have I ever been cat called on the street by just a single man, it is always in groups and I feel that it is like men are trying to impress each other. I have seen men who on their own be so lovely and respectful about woman yet when they are with their friends they suddenly turn into sleazy creeps. Come on girls, how many of you have had a boyfriend who when it's just the two of you, it is lovely and sweet but the second they are with another male it is like a fight to be the alpha male. And I just want to let any men reading this know, it is perfectly fine to be respectful of woman when you are both alone and not alone and this sort of behaviour is to be encouraged. 

And that my friends is really what feminism is about, being respectful to others because they are a human and treating them as equals because you guessed it, they are a human. So if any of this has made sense to someone then I will be very happy and heck I hope you had a couple of laughs in between the seriousness of it all. 

Why social media sites suck

I can safely say that my blog is taking shape and slowly becoming a space for me to rant all the ramblings which my friends can't be bothered to listen to. Here I am again with another rambling on something that has been pressing my mind for the past couple of months, social media.

More specifically I am looking at Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. As a self-confessed internet junkie I will happily admit to spending hours each day switching from one site to another site filling my hours up by looking at other peoples posts, and of course it wouldn't be a Kat Lowe blog without me now offering my input as to why these sites suck.

Addiction/Time filling

Its times like summer and half term where I am more aware of how much of my time I fill by just looking at these sites, lets face it, we've all done it where we have scrolled down twitter, switched to Facebook, then to Instagram followed by sending a few cheeky snapchats, this cycle then gets repeated I would like to say about 5-10 times a day. And why? Maybe I am hoping to find some golden post which will enlighten me but more often than not I just look at pictures of sunsets and Starbucks and girls bitching about their peers.

I am often left thinking, what would I do without the internet? Lately I have been trying to spend less time actually social networking and I have to admit I am finding it a bit of a struggle to find other stuff to occupy my time with. The ease that comes with social networking makes it so addicting, in brief bite size chunks I am able to get daily updates on my close friends without actually having to talk to them, I am even able to get updates about other peoples lives of whom I don't even know (admit it we have all done a bit of Facebook stalking here and there)

Privacy

As just mentioned we all do a bit of stalking on social media sites, updating ourselves on a friends breakup through just looking at their tweets rather than actually asking them about them, but there is certain aspects of these sites which I find a little bit more creepy than just that.

I am talking about how Facebook allows you to see when people were last online, before this feature I didn't give a thought as to when my friend was last online but now I am aware of it, likewise to the feature where you can see when people have read your message. Who thought of these two goddamn awful features? For the anxious and often insecure teenager actually knowing that someone is ignoring you is the equivalent of being shot. Whereas before I wasn't aware of when people have been online or not, I could rationalise them not replying to them simply being busy.  However now we see that they haven't replied to your text but they are still on Facebook and they are still tweeting, so obviously they are not busy (or maybe they have been kidnapped and they are being forced to still tweet)

Snapchat allows you to see other peoples best friends and though there is some confusion on whether your 'best friends' are the people you snapchat the most or the people who snapchat you the most, there is no need for this feature at all, because in honesty what does it matter who your best friends are? Unless you are with a dickhead/bitch most peoples partners aren't going to be sending or receiving naked snapchats but yet still when you see that girl you don't like up there, one can't help but think.

Sites like Twitter and Instagram allow you to view other peoples favourites or what pictures they like, again this feature really isn't needed. Although some may say that it has been used to actually bring more awareness to new content, the amount of fights I have seen break out over "You liked that slut Ashley's photo on Instagram" or "I see you're still favouriting your ex's tweets"

All of this information is not necessarily useful to any of us, but instead it feeds our inner addiction as we are allowed an insight to a persons life which is actually kinda private.

Space

I imagine the days where having no internet were slightly more peaceful. Whereas before you would see a person in person and then not really be able to communicate with them unless you had a messenger pigeon, loved writing letters or were telepathic, now we are able to communicate with people constantly.

Not able to get hold of someone via their phone? Cool just Facebook message them, that didn't work? Direct message on twitter. There are now endless ways to keep up to date with people and although this is useful if you are trying to maintain a friendship or relationship which has a lot of distance, more often than not the people we communicate most with are the people who we could quite easily go out and see.

Just as everyone needs to have the social interaction needs met, people also need space in order to recuperate. If you spend a lot of time with anyone eventually you will find yourself a little bit agitated or bored, this is not because we are not interested in the person, but because we need to allow ourselves a little bit of freedom and variation in our lives to keep a balance.


So basically I can conclude social media sites as a way of feeding our insecurities, I have not even begun on how they can be used to create a false persona or how how they can be used for things such as bullying. But I just thought I would write this post as after discussing with a couple of peers I have realised how sometimes my more often than not irrational thinking has been due to social media sites. I am very keen to try and limit myself from these sites as though I can see there benefits, I also see them as destructive. I wonder just how many friendships/relationships have ended due to these sites?

Clubbing: the alternative

Being a teenager in a world where social media allows you to view what everyone else is doing all the time, I often see pictures of people my age at clubs, it has become almost a way into adulthood partaking in going clubbing and those who don’t like clubbing are seen as outcasts. 

The honest truth is that clubbing is just not for everyone and for every one night which has been really good I have had ten other nights which have just been a failure, so for your amusement and some knowledge for those of you who have not yet been, here are my reasons for why clubbing sucks:

Lifts

Before you even go out you have the stress of being able to find a lift home, unless you live near a club so a taxi wont cost you a ludicrous amount or you are actually able to walk chances are you will be relying on either a friend or a parent for a lift. 

Money

There is no two ways about it, going clubbing and regularly going is expensive. So you’ve got the cost of you getting home, the cost of going into a club and then the cost of actually drinking overall you are left with a headache and a hole in your pocket. 

Horny

What is it about being surrounded by 100’s of other sweaty, smelly human beings whilst being intoxicated that turns some of even the nicest of people into horny sexual predators? 

Ghost Grinders

So there you are dancing with your friends when you suddenly realise that you have a man attached to your behind trying to grind his way into your pants. This is not fun or pleasurable, no just no. 

Music

I can vouch for it when I say that most clubs wont be playing Nirvana or Radiohead and if they do it will be some shitty remix which will leave you questioning why someone would even make it in the first place. Most songs will share the same repetitive beat to allow ghost grinders to get maximum hip swinging momentum. If you have any respect for your ears just don't go, you’ll be left feeling slightly deaf with ringing ears. 

Clothes

It doesn’t matter how nice you look at the start of the night by the end of it you will be sweaty with makeup half down your face and your feet in a stupid amount of pain. Come on girls who actually invented heels? They are torture devices which leave your butt and legs looking fantastic but you feeling pure pain. 

Social media addicts

There are some and I can say that I have been one of them whilst being a club who just can’t put their phone down. Every moment is a chance for a new selfie, the chances are endless. 

I can see the appeal of being surrounded by you friends in a pool of endless pulling opportunities being offered free drinks, girls bond in the toilets and suddenly everyone is your best friend. For me though, I find a good house party or night at the pub far more enjoyable than having some ghost grinder trying to pull me. 

Size truths

It has very much come to my attention that there are still a lot of issues with peoples self image despite our ever-changing and revolutionising world. By no means is this post aimed at making anyone feel sad or insecure with their size, there are just couple of things that have come to my attention lately and I wish the world would be a little bit more understanding.

Before 2013 I was completely unaware of both my eyebrows and the fascination that is the thigh gap. Suddenly though thousands of girls all over the internet were posting about eyebrows with comments cropping up such as "Don't listen to someone who has bad eyebrows, you don't need need that shit in your life" How someones eyebrows impacts their advice giving skills is beyond me, but suddenly eyebrows which were filled and defined were an essential part to a girls life.

Similarly with the thigh gap, posts of girls with slender legs were posted everywhere with girls saying how jealous they were, unfortunately this turned into people posting these images on anorexia promoting websites as their "thinspiration." Sadly the internet took another twist in events and started ridiculing the thigh gap and claiming that it was a bad thing as you can't catch food which falls between your lap  and that your booty can't be big and juicey with a thigh gap.

The honest truth about thigh gaps is that your bone structure is the main deciding factor in whether or not you have a thigh gap. Craving a thigh gap is near improbable because it is just like having defined cheekbones or a small nose, it's down to the bones and no amount of calcium will change that.

In no way shape of form am I saying that if you do not have a thigh gap than you are an less of a woman, not at all. I am simply saying that obsessing over one will probably just end up with you feeling a little bit crummy about yourself.  With this being said, you shouldn't make comments on people who do have thigh gaps because like myself, some people can honestly not help but have one. Actually when I was little I thought I had something wrong with me because my thighs did not meet.

This brings me on to my last and final point for this blog post, which maybe I will write a whole post about because it's an issue which I feel very sensitive to. Who the hell came up with the phrase "Skinny bitch"? I don't know why my female friends feel it is acceptable to call me this, as if it is some sort of compliment?

Please note that telling a skinny person that they look like they are wasting away or that they need to gain weight are JUST as offence as telling someone that they need to loose weight or that they are too big. You would never see me go up to a stranger and tell them that they need to eat less but some how it is acceptable for people to make a judgement on my weight.

Not every small person is skinny because of their choice, I myself have a fast metabolism which means that I just burn up food quicker.

I just think that we are all struggling enough as it is to like ourselves, a lot of us as the best of times think we are just average looking. Instead of finding these things to fault in others we should be telling each other how beautiful we are and without the fear of being called an arselicker. Every single person on this earth, girl or boy deserves to be told that they are worthy.

If there is anything that doing an art course has taught me is that there is always someone who thinks you are the bee's knees. I can produce a piece of art which I think is shit yet my teachers tell me it is amazing and vice versa. We are all individuals with individual tastes and this should be celebrated and not criticised. 

Anyway have a lovely night you happy people.

2 rants in one week, aren't you all lucky?

As the title of this post suggests I have another rant for you all today, this time on the hot topic of Justin Bieber's arrest. Let me first just say that I do no listen to his music this post isn't about what I think of his music or his 'talent' this is strictly a post on his actions. They are my own personal opinion and to any belieber reading this, I do not wish to cause you any offence, cool now that's done lets get down to business.

Justin Bieber was arrested this week for drag racing in Miami, under the influence of alcohol and possibly marihuana, his beliebers are not tweeting about freeing him which I just think is disgraceful. If it was anyone else there wouldn't be a second thought on them being arrested but because he has a fan base in the millions somehow we should grant him special treatment.

Drink driving kills there is no special antidote that means by being a celebratory that you have magic powers which enable to drive under the influence, it would be just as dangerous if your best friend did it, if the pope did it or if even you yourself does it.

I would like to remind all of those trying to reason with Justin Bieber's actions by saying that he was diagnosed with depression that depression is not an excuse. If Justin Bieber is really that mentally unstable than he shouldn't have been allowed to go in the car or drinking in the first place. Correct me if I am wrong but I thought drinking under the age of 21 was also illegal in America?

If Justin Bieber has depression than I wish him all the best in getting the correct support and medication to help him through it, really I do, however from a personal experience, my own mother has depression and if she did what Justin did this week you can bet your finest watch I would not be asking for her freedom. 

Justin Bieber despite what some may say is very influential to a lot of girls and guys and with this power comes the responsibility of acting as a good role model. I will not list the other previous things which he has done which can also be viewed as disrespectful, disgraceful and damn right stupid. I just believe that someone who has this much impact should have the decency to treat it with respect.

If Justin Bieber fans had this much support for all the people who had lost someone to drunk driving, or to all the people who have been put in prison despite them being innocent the world would be a happier place. I'm not saying that Justin Bieber was innocent as he obviously isn't, I am just interested to see what would happen if they put their power as a fan base to some actual good use, instead of trying to defend an arrogant prick.

A little rant

Today Internet junkies, I am writing to you feeling absolutely mortified. My blood is boiling with rage.

I recently stumbled across this article on my facebook page http://www.returnofkings.com/26763/girls-with-short-hair-are-damaged saying how woman are instantly less attractive when they cut their hair short. This alone was terrible as since when do us females have to justify our hairstyle to anyone? However upon reading this authors other articles I had the sickening realisation that ALL of his articles were sexist and just degrading.

For example on one of his articles talking about when to break up with your girlfriend, the author mentions that you should break up with them if they have gained more than 8 pounds, the rest is "excusable". I am sorry but what gives a man the right to say how much a woman should weigh? The sheer idea that someone would break up with their partner over a little weight gain is ludicrous and shallow. The word "excusable" is just sickening, as if their partner is giving them permission to gain weight, as if their partner is the dictator or what is right or wrong. Does the author at all mention what should happen if a male gains weight during a relationship? No! Of course not! Because obviously men are allowed to do what they want.

Ugh! I am so sick of the sexism which is shoved in our faces day to day which is somehow still deemed acceptable! Of course when talking about sexism it is only fair to remember that sexism still happens both ways. For example when a female expects their partner to pay for everything in their relationship. In my own personal relationship I am often the one who is paying for our dates this often leads to my friends questioning the stability of my relationship however this is just how our relationship is. I believe that relationships should be equal on that level and also on who makes the most effort and who texts first.

In an ideal world there would be no sexism but I often feel that people use their gender to get away with naughty things. An example would be the all-to-know 'fact' that males are allowed to sleep with however many partners they want but a female can't as she will be deemed a slut. My feelings are the same for both genders, sleeping around with lots of people is not attractive for either a male or female (this is my personal opinion, I do not mean to cause offence if you have done so, feel free to do as you please)

I just think that although we are trying to battle with the idea of sexism we are living in a world of double standards, where woman expect equal pay but yet for the male in the relationship to still pay for their dates. When males are expecting their partner to maintain their good looks yet him themselves have has seen better days. If you want true equality in this world you should look at others actions and yourself. I honestly believe treating others how you would want to be treated is the fairest way to live, as most people don't want to be dumped for gaining 8 pounds or cutting their hair short. If you want someone to pay for your meal that's fine! You just damn well make sure that you are paying the next time ;)

Anyway this has been a little bit of a wild rant, mainly due to the fact that I am writing this in the middle of trying to do some coursework.  The underlining message of this post is that being respectful of people and treating them as an equal will lead to better friendships and relationships between males and females :)